A Strange School Day

Lisa had quite an unusual school-day today. I picked her up from school, after she had had a mere 2 hours, so that I could take her to the hospital for a hearing exam. We arrived for the appointment at 11:30 where we were asked to take a seat. She took a look at the meagre selection of toys in the children’s area and decided that was not going to be how she would pass the time, after 5 minutes of “is it our go yet …” I decided to pull out the iPhone. She decided to watch the film Open Season, so I explained that we would have to stop it soon when the lady comes to get us, but she said she was OK with that. So we both sat and watched the movie … 50 minutes later we were called in for her hearing exam.

After 5 minutes of beeps and whistles we were asked to return to the waiting room where we waited for another 15 minutes before talking to a doctor that told us that she did not “need intervention” at this time, but wants us to repeat the process in 3 months time!

So we exit the hospital at 12:50 and I realise that although I have been longer than I had anticipated and needed to get back to work, Lisa had now missed her school lunch, and I would have to feed her before returning her to school! I had a choice, I could be a responsible parent and take her home and find something nourishing to give her, or I could be the irresponsible, but mega-popular “Super Daddy” and reward her bravery by taking her to visit the golden arches … I’ll leave it to your powers of deduction as to which I chose … but after a happy meal and a McFlurry I had a very happy girl on my hands (I do point out that we always play the ABC game (name a something beginning with … A … B … [I tried posting a link to explain … but my google skills failed me]) at McD’s so it was at least partially educational 😉 ).

Upon leaving the store we were greeted by another flurry. It was snowing. Genuinely lumpy flakes of snow! Alas it was too brief an outburst for it to actually stick, but it was quite exciting (I know some of you have snow up to your elbows but for us … Snow is Snow!). So although it was not exactly according to the script, it was very nice to have a bit of a Daddy-Daughter fun day. And thus here I am catching up on the 4 hours of missed work avoidance 😉

Birds and the Bees

Bart is 8 now, but as a consequence of being in the school swimming team, he is often hanging around with children that are that bit older than him. Consequently his vocabulary has received a little more colour. I am not saying that he is using swear words, but he is now aware of them (even through a thick scouse accent). The problem is he is curious of anything that seems like it is being kept a secret from him.

Which brings me to a conversation I had with a friend a while back. We were discussing this and he told me that he had had the “Birds and the Bees” talk with his 8 year old. I was horrified at the prospect. Surely this is the conversation you have with a teenager, not my little boy. He may not exactly be pure but he is still rather innocent. But as he pointed out to me, he will have received much of the information from his peers by that age, this way I am in control of how it is delivered, making sure that I can explain that it is intended in the context of a loving relationship and most importantly … not until he is at least 35! 🙂

This conversation was a couple of months back, and I have resisted “The Talk” with every fibre of my being, I truly would love to take the ostrich approach, but unfortunately it is looking more and more imminent. I do want to be the one that talks to him, I do want him to feel that he can talk to me about these things, and I also feel that if I talk about it now, I may be able to set up that dialogue with him before the adolescent embarrassment kicks in and every word has to penetrate a veil of awkwardness.

So what do people think? Should I talk to him before he receives the school yard version? Is it wrong to talk about the birds and the bees to a child that still believes in Santa Claus?

Back To Work

Yesterday was not the beginning of a renewed absence. Yesterday I got to enjoy the madness that is fulltime parenting two out of my three offspring.

Yesterday being the 1st of December was the notional date we set for Mrs Geek’s return to work. It also happened to be the day that our children’s school designated as a “Governor’s Day”. What a Governor’s Day exactly is and how it relates to the children not going in to school I don’t know (my suspicions are that it is an opportunity for the teachers to catch-up on their Christmas shopping). We it would make most sense not to change the arrangements and I would look after the oldest two.

It sounded so reasonable to have 6 months maternity leave before Maggie arrived… But the idea of having to return to work and leave her still tiny baby hit Mrs Geek a while back and it has been hanging over her ever since. It is mitigated by the fact that baby Maggie is going to be cared for by Mrs Geeks mum.

I wish it were not the case that money is the reason for the decision, but it really is financially crippling for Mrs Geek to be off work. I know she takes no pleasure in realising that she is a victim of her own success.

I have said this before, but I really am overwhelmingly proud of Mrs Geek’s achievements, but we have now settled into a lifestyle that really does require both of our wages. Especially seeing as she significantly out earns me. I came to terms with this a long time ago, but it was much easier when we were all happy with the arrangement. Now however I am left with the dent in my machismo that smarts every time I think about the fact that I am failing in my societally expected duty of providing for my family.

Thankfully the day went well. Pupils came to her and said how much they had missed her, I had a good time with the oldest two (who were fun and frustrating in nearly equal measures), and as much as it may have been a dent to Mrs Geek’s ego, Maggie seemed perfectly happy with the new arrangement.

That said… We are all making adjustments at the moment to make this work so it is a trying time in our household. Wish us luck 🙂

B’Day

No, it was not a poor spelling for a follow up to Wat Da Daddy’s post on cleaning ones bottom, today I turned 32.

They say that you are only as old as you feel, but I think that could be the problem. My back aches, I am tired, I am forgetful (I lost my wallet, which since been found by the wonderful Mrs Geek), and my previous post was an “In my day”! I promise I am really only 32!

So in time honoured fashion of people feeling too old, I am going to ignore my birthday and tell you about Bart’s birthday which was on Saturday.

It started way too early for a Saturday. Most weekends he is up with the birds, and we tell him to read until his sister wakes … an arrangement that suits everyone. This Saturday, this was not an option. You could see the excitement oozing out of him.

He had been wanting to take guitar lessons for the past year, and the teacher finally got a opening, so we got him a guitar, and having had him “play” for us, after all of one lesson, I can say it is not nearly as bad as we had anticipated. There is something quite relaxing about an acoustic guitar, even when played badly.

After opening his other presents, it was time to get ready for his party at the local bowling alley, who it turned out had 5 children’s parties on and 3 members of staff. 2 hours of chasing around after 10 eight year old boys, given soft drinks, cake and balloon swords, I felt like a sheep dog on overtime. I fear this may have aged me 5 years on its own. Still I think they all enjoyed it and Bart certainly did, which is what counts 🙂

Why Do I Not Have A Pause Button?

In my last post I talked of how proud I was of Lisa in her nursery leavers’ awards ceremony and the joy it gave me to see her win her award. This ignores however the pain it gave me to see her stood on stage welling up yet bravely holding back her tears on every mention of the “Leavers”. Again I failed my “Bloke” test as I was significantly less stoic than she was. Why does growing up have to be painful and why can I not protect my children from “Life’s Lessons”?

I know it is all part of growing up, but why does their growing up have to hurt me so much?

This led Mrs Geek and I to a discussion of the difference in parental attitudes to first child and subsequent children. With Bart everything was about how well he was doing. Each milestone passed was an amazing, pride inducing accomplishment. Now every milestone seems to be reached with reluctance. Maggie is now far more alert and putting on weight … both of which is good news, yet it signifies a reduction in newborn-ness that again, I really dread.

It is like going on a luxury cruise, stopping at many destinations, each one absolutely wonderful, breathtaking, but due to the tight schedule you are continually being moved on to the next location, ready or not. Some times I want to just say “Wait a minute … I like it here … can we just stay a little bit longer?” Alas, as much as I would like to pretend otherwise, I do not seem to be captain of this ship, it carries on sailing regardless how much I want to apply the brakes.

Maggie is planned to be our last child, and while nothing is set in stone, it is unlikely that we are going to change our mind. So every step forward is again like saying goodbye to the previous stage. At 31 am I ready to say goodbye to these things?

I know the solution is simply to enjoy it while you have it, and this whole post is rather self indulgent, but hey … it is my blog and to be honest that is what it is for 🙂

Thankyou

I’m back… again 🙂

I know it has been 10 days now, but it’s better late than never and all that, so … I would like to say a big thankyou to everyone that has sent kind comments and gifts to the latest addition to the Geek household.

Mother and baby are both doing well (that phrase is so quaint), and life is slowly approaching normality. Well at least with respect to the whole new baby thing. My older two are having quite a busy time at school, with sports days, concerts, award ceremonies etc. They do not seem to realise that if I am going to carry on paying for them to go to this school, I will have to actually show up at work at some stage.

Having said that, the last few weeks have showed what a wonderful family feel their school has. Everyone has been so wonderful and friendly, with cards from teachers and staff, gifts from other parents.

So once again to all those that have been kind to us over the past couple of weeks, be it presents, cards or kind wishes, Thankyou.

Stork Watch

Wow … shooting for 3 in just over 24 hours (It’ll never last)

Today, as you may or may not know, is The Day. According to both scans, the baby is due today.

It would, however, appear that somebody forgot to tell the baby. Or it is already imitating it’s big-brother with the “Just a minute … I’ll be right there” approach to time keeping (I have no idea where they get that from).

Now for me this is not a big deal. Don’t get me wrong, I am looking forward to seeing the baby and I am curious to find out if it is a boy or a girl, but I am actually very calm about it and if anything I am enjoying the last few days of seeing my beautiful wife carrying my unborn child for the last time (She soundly assures me that this is our last).

Mrs Geek however is in rather a confused state of mind. Firstly there is the fact that she wants the baby to come when it is good and ready and not before as the plan is to have a natural home-birth, and this has required us to get to 38 weeks before they recommend home-birthing as an option.

Well 38 weeks came and went so all is well, but now the other end of the window is in sight, in that the doctors advise that if the baby has not arrived within 2 weeks of the due date, then it is time to be induced. Again this is not part of the plan.

But yesterday my attention was brought to a third strand to my darling wife’s thought streams, in that she is actually getting rather nervous about the actually delivery. Call me niaeve but this is not something I had expected. This from the woman that delivered our last child with not so much as a whiff of gas and air.

Again, I don’t want you to think I am stupid, of course I know it stings a bit (ok … that was sarcasm before I get abuse from anyone lacking a Y chromosome), but being a man I quite obviously did not experience it. This coupled with the fact that she has shown no sign of concern before, and if anything had been rather matter of fact about the whole home-birth thing, now took me somewhat off guard.

What am I expected to say about it. How can I, as a man, reassure a woman that has had two children that she has nothing to worry about when it comes to labour? …

That’s right … I resorted to sarcasm … and so, in the spirit of using my blog to send personal messages … for that my Beautiful Wife I Am Really Sorry.

On a mitigating note, we may have resolved the issue of picking names. It was solved the way I could have predicted it would have been right from the start. Mrs Geek kept settling on names that I agreed with right up until the end when all of a sudden, there were some entirely new names in the frame, to which I have resigned myself (actually I quite like them, but she will change them again if she finds that out) … however I am sure that if the baby does not come sometime soon, we will only be left with Fifi Trixibell or Rufus Tiger!

Growing Up

On Wednesday my sweet little girl went for a taster day at her new school. Mrs Geek and I were concerned that she would be daunted by going in to a class where she was the new girl, but far from it. She excitedly got the uniform on and was keen to be just like her brother.

I was so proud of her I almost burst.

However I know that she has been going to nursery, but I can not seem to shake the feeling that it is another step on the path to her deciding that Daddy is no longer the greatest person on earth, and as much as I know she has to grow up at some stage … but it doesn’t mean I have to like it.

And the thing is she is in such a hurry to grow up. The problem is that she is always following in the footsteps of her big brother, and she is trying to catch up, where as I want her to slow down and just enjoy being 4.

I really love the boy that my son has become (certain lapses in behaviour aside), but I already see the changes, the loss of youth mourn it for him. I no longer catch him just randomly singing like I used to, his TV programs are Ben 10 and Turtles instead of Bob the Builder and Andy Pandy.

Again, I know that this is all inevitable and that I need to let them grow up to be what they are going to be, and I am sure that I will love the people they turn into … However, just a little note to my babies … I’ll miss you.

Here are a few more pictures of my little princess waiting to be let loose on the world

There’s No Need To Hide!

I am afraid I am going to get all political on you again.

Mrs Geek told me that a friend of ours was given a booklet outlining the places within our town where it is suitable to breastfeed her baby.

As much as it is wonderful that certain establishments such as Mothercare and John Lewis provide a place for mothers to go if they are reluctant to breastfeed in public, but I fear that the implication is that these are the places where it is acceptable to breastfeed whilst out and about.

Now I understand it may be unusual to here a man who is so worked up over the rights of mothers to breastfeed in public, but I think it is abhorrent that we as a society are so repressed that we find it acceptable to see a mother bottle feed her baby, but if she chooses to do it the natural way then it makes people squeamish.

I have every sympathy for mothers that can not get their baby to breastfeed, I really do. It is often a difficult, painful and exhausting process to get a baby to breastfeed, and a process that many mothers do not manage to achieve. Thanks to organisations like La Leche League hopefully more mothers that want to breastfeed can find the support that they deserve.

I am also not a “Breastfeeding Nazzi” as I once heard someone describe their health visitor and I have no objection to mothers who choose not to breastfeed, that is not my business. Everyone should make the decisions for their own child that they are comfortable with. However, all medical evidence points to the fact that breastfeeding provides numerous benefits to both mother and baby.

So as a society we should be actively cultivating an atmosphere in which a mother successfully breastfeeding her child is seen as an achievement, while nobody should be made to feel like they have “failed” if they choose not to breastfeed, it should be something that is actively encouraged, we should not be putting up further barriers of social exclusion.

The fact that women get asked to “use the facilities provided” and are expected to sit in what is often not much more than a converted toilet is appalling.

OK … rant over (And I managed it without using the cliché “the most natural thing in the world” once)

Console Envy

Guy (My obviously over-paid best mate) happily informed me today that the X-Box 360 has just come down in price again.

It is apparently now ONLY £249.99.

Just another thing to add to the wish list (To be honest it is well below the IPhone and the MacBook Air … but a Geek can dream)

Actually now that we have another child on the way … How much do you think I could get for a second hand, slightly soiled, rather noisy 7 year old on e-bay?

I’ll keep you posted