A Strange School Day

January 19, 2009

Lisa had quite an unusual school-day today. I picked her up from school, after she had had a mere 2 hours, so that I could take her to the hospital for a hearing exam. We arrived for the appointment at 11:30 where we were asked to take a seat. She took a look at the meagre selection of toys in the children’s area and decided that was not going to be how she would pass the time, after 5 minutes of “is it our go yet …” I decided to pull out the iPhone. She decided to watch the film Open Season, so I explained that we would have to stop it soon when the lady comes to get us, but she said she was OK with that. So we both sat and watched the movie … 50 minutes later we were called in for her hearing exam.

After 5 minutes of beeps and whistles we were asked to return to the waiting room where we waited for another 15 minutes before talking to a doctor that told us that she did not “need intervention” at this time, but wants us to repeat the process in 3 months time!

So we exit the hospital at 12:50 and I realise that although I have been longer than I had anticipated and needed to get back to work, Lisa had now missed her school lunch, and I would have to feed her before returning her to school! I had a choice, I could be a responsible parent and take her home and find something nourishing to give her, or I could be the irresponsible, but mega-popular “Super Daddy” and reward her bravery by taking her to visit the golden arches … I’ll leave it to your powers of deduction as to which I chose … but after a happy meal and a McFlurry I had a very happy girl on my hands (I do point out that we always play the ABC game (name a something beginning with … A … B … [I tried posting a link to explain … but my google skills failed me]) at McD’s so it was at least partially educational 😉 ).

Upon leaving the store we were greeted by another flurry. It was snowing. Genuinely lumpy flakes of snow! Alas it was too brief an outburst for it to actually stick, but it was quite exciting (I know some of you have snow up to your elbows but for us … Snow is Snow!). So although it was not exactly according to the script, it was very nice to have a bit of a Daddy-Daughter fun day. And thus here I am catching up on the 4 hours of missed work avoidance 😉

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Looking inside the bump

January 22, 2008

Today marked the beginning of Week 20 and as if to mark the day we went in for the Second Scan. There is something really cool about going for the ultra-sound. I will admit, probably better for me than Mrs Geek, as I got to watch the whole time while the technician took all the measurements.

The image is incredible, you can see the hands and feet, you could to count the vertebrae if you had the inclination (and the time). However for some reason they only have 2D Scans with a very limited depth of vision. Why. I get that this is the NHS, but they could charge £10 for a DVD of their session and the machine would pay for itself.

I digress, As much as I may bitch and moan, it was a great experience. So here is a picture of inside the Bump.

20 Week Scan


HRH Queen Of Drama

January 14, 2008

… some men are born great, some achieve greatness and some have greatness thrust upon them.

Well I am angling for the later when it comes to how I achieved the noble position of official “Drama Queen” of the day.

I know umpteen blokes that have had cauliflower ears, and as far as I was aware it was a simple procedure to drain it and be on my way. This, alas, was not to be.

As I detailed earlier, I got to hospital at 4pm yesterday afternoon, and waited for a theatre to become free, so that they could clean out my ear… and I waited … and I waited.

If patience is good for the soul, they fixed more than just my ear. At 8:30pm I was taken through to the theatre for my op. I awoke rather groggy late yesterday evening for some tablets and then promptly passed out until about 6:30 this morning. The reason I got up was because the lady was doing the rounds with the breakfasts, and I was starving. So 34 hours after my last meal I am greeted by a bowl of cornflakes! To say I was disappointed would be quite the understatement, but that being said … It was the most welcome bowl of cornflakes I had ever had.

After a touch more waiting the doctor told me that it all went well and that once they had brought me my meds, I was free to leave. So I waited … Two hours later they arrived … so I was free to go … except I needed a doctors note … another hour later I was told that I merely had to go and pick one up at the office. It would appear that my newly acquired position of royalty doesn’t get you very far in an NHS hospital.

So I have returned home, wrapped up like King Tut’s hypochondriac older brother, and I feel like I have not eaten since his burial. So forgive me for keeping it short, I have to go get a pizza.

I have included a picture for your general amusement

Drama Queen


Cauliflower and Mash

January 13, 2008

No prizes for guessing how my game went today… We got mashed. I really am beginning to wonder if I have already met the boundaries of my talent as a captain, which after 2 weeks does not reflect so well on me. Unfortunately the thing we are lacking most is a little experience. A couple of old heads amongst the young lads would help them to develop. We can but hope.

Not much went right for me today, be it the result to the fact somebody dropped my towel in a puddle while I was in the shower. I did say the other day that not all my posts would be quite so positive. In fact you would have to look quite hard to find somebody quite so self pitying at the moment.

I play prop. For those that are unfamiliar with the technical aspects of rugby, it is the butt ugly one that basically shoves his head into the oppositions face on a far too regular basis. Now obviously with my angelic features, I am an exception to this rule. My opposite number however made up for me and went the extra mile, truly it was a face that even his mother must struggle to love and to be honest I am not sure he will be submitting his PHD thesis any time soon (On reflection I may be a bit bitter). So having grunted and snarled at each other for 30 minutes, my new friend Quasi Modo decides to add injury to insult by head butting my ear … at every scrum.

Alas I had another invulnerability malfunction and as a result I ended the match with a lovely cauliflower ear.

Cauliflower

Isn’t she a beauty. For those that are unfamiliar with the concept, a cauliflower is when you ear takes a hit and starts to bleed in between the two surfaces of itself, causing it to turn into a balloon being filled with blood, mmm lovely! So after the match I went to see the club doctor to get him to drain it. This also did not go as I might have hoped. After looking for, and I quote “The biggest needle we have got”, he promptly shoved it in my ear and shoved it around which might have hurt a bit (how do you communicate the sarcasm of that last sentence?) only to be told, “Nah, it isn’t working we will have to squeeze it out”. If by some bizarre coincidence you find yourself in a similar situation, and you hear those words, just stand up and leave. Go and see someone that knows what they are doing because your doctor is a masochist.

Alas this is hindsight talking. I did not walk out, I stayed there while he squeezed and bent the ear that has been causing me the pain. This hurt a bit too (there is that sarcasm again). This would be bad enough if it were not for the fact that the picture above is a shot of my ear after it had been treated. Hence I am currently spending the evening sat in the Emergency Room of my local hospital, while the staff mock me for playing a silly game and bringing it on myself. It is in these moments that you see why the NHS is the envy of the world.

P.S. whilst sitting here, I have learnt the following startling piece advice. Apparently, despite seeing it done on TV, it is defiantly not a good idea to try to punch somebody through the window of their car, when the window is wound up! Who would have thought..? Apparently not the chap sat just in front of me. This guy has to be in practice for a future Darwin award.