In my last post I talked of how proud I was of Lisa in her nursery leavers’ awards ceremony and the joy it gave me to see her win her award. This ignores however the pain it gave me to see her stood on stage welling up yet bravely holding back her tears on every mention of the “Leavers”. Again I failed my “Bloke” test as I was significantly less stoic than she was. Why does growing up have to be painful and why can I not protect my children from “Life’s Lessons”?
I know it is all part of growing up, but why does their growing up have to hurt me so much?
This led Mrs Geek and I to a discussion of the difference in parental attitudes to first child and subsequent children. With Bart everything was about how well he was doing. Each milestone passed was an amazing, pride inducing accomplishment. Now every milestone seems to be reached with reluctance. Maggie is now far more alert and putting on weight … both of which is good news, yet it signifies a reduction in newborn-ness that again, I really dread.
It is like going on a luxury cruise, stopping at many destinations, each one absolutely wonderful, breathtaking, but due to the tight schedule you are continually being moved on to the next location, ready or not. Some times I want to just say “Wait a minute … I like it here … can we just stay a little bit longer?” Alas, as much as I would like to pretend otherwise, I do not seem to be captain of this ship, it carries on sailing regardless how much I want to apply the brakes.
Maggie is planned to be our last child, and while nothing is set in stone, it is unlikely that we are going to change our mind. So every step forward is again like saying goodbye to the previous stage. At 31 am I ready to say goodbye to these things?
I know the solution is simply to enjoy it while you have it, and this whole post is rather self indulgent, but hey … it is my blog and to be honest that is what it is for 🙂