Entrusting the world with another of my offspring

September 3, 2008

I know she has been going to nursery, and I know she has been ready to go to school for the past year, but it my logic deserted me when Lisa got ready for her first day at “Big School”.

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And for once there was very little protest at my need to photograph everything

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So off we trotted to school only to find that, even after all the planning we were half an hour late.

Now I’m naming no names, **cough**Mrs Geek**cough**, but it would appear that we misread the instructions. But my brave little trooper just marched on in to her classroom and joined the rest of her class mates on the mat for a story.

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Two and a half hours later, she was released from class. I asked how it was and if she enjoyed it, the answer I got was “It was fine”. There she goes again getting over excited 🙂 !?!

I can not tell you how proud I was of this little girl today … it does remind me of a song that I heard on the radio, which totally took me off balance as Paul Simon was totally not on my musical Radar … but I think it is possibly the most beautiful song I have ever heard (I know not exactly showing my masculine side today again)

I just would love to know if there was anything quite as wonderful about boys too.

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Anyone got a spare philosophers stone

January 23, 2008

My little girl has just grasped the concept of death. I don’t know exactly where it came from, but she is now concerned.

This is the conversation we had the other day

Daughter : I’ll miss you very much
Me : Why, where are you going
D : When you die.
Me : What!?!?
D : Are you going to die soon? You have lines on your head ?!?!
Me : What (worried thoughts. is she psychic, can she sense death?)
D : The lines on your head … like Gran
Me : Oh you mean wrinkles (A bit harsh … but I’m not dying now so I’ll let is slide). No I’m not going to die, I want to watch you grow up.
D : When will you die (She is persistent)
Me : Never (in for a penny)
D : OK

So you see it would seem that I may have to up the anti on my training regime as I am now contractually* obliged to achieve immortality. Looking back though I’m still not sure I am happy about the “Lines like Gran” comment.

[* it’s a verbal contract … it’ll never hold up right …]


Sometimes a dad isn’t so tough

January 12, 2008

This whole blogging experience is rather weird. I know that it is me choosing what I post, but to be honest, I have been saying what is on my mind, rather than thinking too much about the image that I am presenting.

So far I seem to be exposing rather more of my “touchy feely” side than I would probably ever allow into the open in a normal conversation.

Yesterday, I spent the day at the wedding of one of Mrs Geek best friends. Now don’t get me wrong, I like to consider the bride and groom my friends, but if I were being honest I there in my capacity as “Partner” to the invitee.

This being said, I found myself welling up at certain points. What is happening to me, I am sure I used to be a “Bloke”. What’s more I have to confess that I was not entirely surprised.

I absolutely LOVE weddings! One of the things I love best about wedding photography is that I get to go to more weddings. I know it would not be original to say that my wedding day was the happiest day of my life, but clichĂ©s usually become clichĂ©s because they are so true. Along with the birth of my two children, I can’t conceive being happier.

But they do bring out my feminine side. And it would appear that my feminine side is a blubbering little girl.

It is only since getting married myself that I have found them difficult to maintain my masculinity. Before that I was an entirely unconfused young man.

There are a few bits that got me emotional; there was the fact that the Groom was the emotional type also. Seeing struggle with what I will admit was a great speech, brought it back to me. I wish I could lay claim to it being the speech that was my downfall. I fell at the vows, now this was not me reciting vows from memory, I was repeating what the priest had prompted, or at least I was attempting to whilst trying not to cry.

But a new development has entered the last few weddings that I have been to. I am now father to a little girl. Seeing the father of the bride, trying to hold it together while he “gives his daughter away”. Now I get that this is a long way away, being that she is 4, but I can feel the confused cocktail of pain and happiness that hew is going through. As much as he may deliriously be happy for her, there are other emotions there too. The overwhelming pride of the person she has become. And then there is the pain of facing the fact that she is not his little girl any more, and that as much as she may love you, you are no longer the number 1 man in her life.

I love my daughter to pieces, and I hope that when she grows up, she finds a wonderful partner, but even the fact her age does give me a while to come up with my speech, I am still not sure that I will be quite ready for her big day.

Heaven help me if the next one is a girl too.