When we found out that we were having our first baby, Little Miss Arts Student (Now Mrs Geek) was still in her final year of university, and I was living at the opposite end of the country for my job. Now I am not a person that pays much time to regrets, but this is one of my biggest regrets in life. It meant that I missed much of the day to day changes of the early stages of the pregnancy.
Fast forward a couple of years and we decide that we will try for a new baby also. Well as a red blooded young (ish) man having watched far too much TV on how difficult it was to get pregnant (Only Fools and Horses and the film Maybe Baby were my chief sources of information) I must admit I really was looking forward to the trying, only to find that we had achieved the goal within the first month.
However I got to experience my wife’s pregnancy from start to finish. Now I will say it now and I will try not to repeat it too much in any manner that can be used in evidence but my wife is beautiful. I see people thinking all too often, and have to admit it myself, she is a good way out of my league. However she was foolish enough or drunk enough or more likely both to fall for me so who am I to grumble.
But on top of this, and as cheesy as it sounds, when pregnant she glows. Not in the old ready brek kind of way you understand, but she just seems to have something very magical about her. It is bizarre. I don’t want it to sound like a fetish or anything creepy, it really isn’t anything course like that, it is just that some how between the nausea and the fatigue, she radiates something that I can not describe in anything other than gushy nonsense. Alas she married a crass rugby playing physicist rather than an artsy fartsy poet (proof by example), and so I again find myself falling short of what she deserves.
So fast forward another three years and the topic of having another child comes up for serious discussion. I would be lying if I told you that the thought of not seeing her pregnant again did not enter into my thought process when we were deciding whether to have another baby. Now don’t get me wrong I want another baby, but watching my wife blossom and go through this journey all over again also went a good way to sweeten the deal.
The thing is that this is one more than we had originally planned, I know that she does not like the idea of saying “no more”, and I believe that any sign that I might be willing to have more will one day be used against me, but that way lies people carriers and bankruptcy. So how do I convince myself that enough is enough and that I have been lucky to have witnessed this miracle twice (if not thrice).